You are about to become a young mom. You are probably feeling some sort of anxiety. You are also probably feeling one of two ways: excited for the new chapter in your life or scared to leave the one you are on. If you have told others about your pregnancy you have probably experienced what I call the “shocked congratulations.” Whoever you told was most likely trying to force a smile and be excited, but you could sense the obvious concern or disapproval from them. The looks, the comments, the vibes, and the gossip will have you feeling like you don’t even know if you are supposed to be excited. I’m here to tell you, don’t let anyone make you feel this way. If you are pregnant, you are already a mom. You have already started the most magnificent thing you will ever achieve in your life and no one should make you feel bad about what you are doing.
You are young, but you can be an amazing mom. You are a young mom, but you can still have an amazing career. You are going to have to give up a lot, but that doesn’t mean that what you will reap in your life will be meaningless and empty. You are a young mom, but it’s only going to make you stronger.
Everything they say about becoming a mother; it’s all true. Every cliche and all known phrases. Motherhood will you change you like you could never imagine. You go from being the selfish person that you never knew you were, to serving and teaching a different center of the universe. You become tired, but constantly joyful. Irritated, but always enamored. Busy, but unusually peaceful. Worry becomes a daily state, but so does adoration. You never knew how strong you could be, but also how easily you could snap. Motherhood changes you heart, your mind, and your soul. Never did I think that a chubby little face, with eyes like oceans could make my heart skip this many beats.
People are going to judge you for being a young mom. They will do it through direct words, gossiping behind your back, judgmental glares, alienation, and the worst, being blackballed from events. If you get any of this, I first want to offer my apologies. I’m sorry that others see your beautiful journey as a mom as such a negative thing. It was seen that way for me too, but it doesn’t matter. Motherhood is about to make you into the most bad-ass, strong, amazing woman you have ever know.
I don’t want to lie to you. It’s going to be hard. Life as a mother is tough, life as a young mother is tougher. There are going to be tons of challenges that you will face, most likely some economic ones. But you will learn how to be resourceful, scrappy, and always on your toes. Whether you want to build a career at work, at home, or just be a stay-at-home mom, people are going to judge you and tell you that you are not capable. But, I promise you are. As young moms we have to wear blinders and only focus on OUR journey. Instead of comparing yourself to other moms, take inspiration from them, only.
You are going to get judgement and disapproval from many adults, relatives, elders…yes. But what may be worse is the friends you lose. I’m going to be real. Many will celebrate your pregnancy with you at your shower, buy you and the baby gifts, and tell you how they would die to be the god-mother. But the truth is that many of your friends will seem to disappear. You will have different priorities, different daily activities, and different interests. But, it’s going to be okay. You will make new friends, you will rekindle with your old ones eventually, and most importantly you will see which friends matter the most to you. The people in your life that show unwavering support are the people you are going to want to keep close. Support is your most valuable asset as a mother (that and some good graphic T-shirts.)
You are a going to be a young mom, so you are probably feeling anxiety. Well, don’t. Someday soon you will feel so much elation and joyfulness, that your cheeks are going to begin to ache from your constant grinning; ear to ear. You are going to be a young mom, a really great one.